Father’s Day

Depending on the survey and how the question is asked, Father’s Day ranks somewhere between 10th and 20th as the most popular Holiday.  In one ranking, it was slightly behind Valentine’s Day and way behind Halloween.  No matter how you cut it, Father’s not a big deal.  Father’s Day sales are pretty limited and seem to always be buying some type of tools. I suspect the reason is ad agencies assume all fathers want to either redo the basement or take apart a car.  Neither of which I have had an desire to ever do.  

I often think that it should be called Dad’s day.  Getting someone pregnant is pretty easy, often fun, but does not take any intelligence, skill or commitment.  Being a dad on the other hand takes all of those and more.

I became a father when our oldest child was born, but I did not be come a dad until she was two.  She was laying on the floor and I was hungover from to many margaritas the night before.  I was self-employed and not doing well, pretty much a failure.  She looked at me and I could hear her saying, “dad, your a F-up and you got to get your sh** together.   I am only two, so you got to make a living because I cannot.”

Did that moment actually happen.  Yes.  Did she say that, in my mind she did.  That is when I turned it around.  I decided I had two purposes in life.  Make a living for my family and to do so, I had to be the best I could possibly be at my job, which for me was being a financial planner.  I quit drinking and did not drink again for over 15 years.  

I also realized that it did not matter if I was happy or sad.  Happy is nice, but it did not make a difference, my job was to make a living for my family.  

To be a dad, your first priority is to make a living for your family to the best of your ability.  No excuses.  

Your second priority as a dad is to have consistent values based on a identifiable system of ethics because your values will be passed down to your children/grandchildren.  My ethics are based on the teachings of Jesus.  Values like love your neighbor, follow the example of the Good Samaritan, look at the log in your own eye rather than the dust in someone else’s, do not lie, respect the the teachings of the Sermon on the Mount.  

For example, if you are teaching your kids and/or grandkids prejudice against women, people of color and and/or members of the LGBTQ community, you certainly are a father, but you’re not a dad.  

Dads want their children and everyone’s children to live in a country that respects their personal freedom and lifestyle choices.  

The third priority for a dad is to advocate not just for their children/grandchildren, but everyone’s children/grandchildren.  This includes ending gun violence, providing affordable health care for all, protecting the environment, protecting and enhancing each citizen’s right to vote.  Dad’s will always work to end the subsidies for billionaires which is increasing the federal debt for their children and grandchildren.  

I’ve met more than a few father’s over the years who all they really care about is themselves.  I have met a whole lot more dads who work tirelessly for their children/grandchildren and are always thinking and being advocates not just for theirs but all children/grandchildren.  

So maybe we should change the name of the day from Father’s Day to Dad’s day.  Dads are not perfect, but they know their priorities which include providing for their families, have a consistent value system, and are advocates for their children/grandchildren.