My Mom and Rules Made by Fools

I have been thinking about my Mom a lot lately. A couple of days ago was her birthday. Since she passed on a number of years ago, there was no birthday party. When she got her first teaching job in a small town in W. Central MN, she was in her early 40s, she was a widow earlier with had six kids, three who were in the new school system.

When she was hired, men received extra pay as teachers for being the head of the household which meant men were paid $50 more than women. $50 in the early 1960s was a lot of money. Though every man on the school board knew her story, she had to go to a school board meeting to apply for head of household pay. These white men who were pillars of the community could not figure out on their own that she was the head of a household even though they knew she was a widow with dependent children. This is a real life example of rules made by fools.

A year after we moved to the small town she bought her first house. Even though she owned farm land, had a stable job and sufficient income to qualify for buying a house, her brother-in-law, my dad’s brother, had to co-sign the loan. Another example of rules made by fools.

Last spring the kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs in a commencement speech said among other things a women’s best life is being a wife and a mother. He also said he was against abortion rights, Pride Month, COVID-19 lockdowns and to quote, “the tyranny of diversity, equity and inclusion”. He must of missed the section of the Gospels which says “love your neighbor” and your neighbor is everyone.

The KC kicker’s parents were highly educated professionals. The kicker grew up in a upper middle class household and never had to worry about money. My mom worried about money most of her life.

When my mom was born, women could not vote. She grew up and lived on a poor farm until her husband was killed in a farming accident. After his death in her early 40s, she went to college and earned a teaching degree. This was almost unheard of unheard for a widow with six kids living on a poor farm.

The kicker now makes millions in the NFL. Being a player at any position in the NFL takes not only innate talent but an incredible amount of hard work. But let’s be honest, its not a real job. Being a teacher is a real job.

And no matter how hard the kicker worked to get to his position, never in one day of his life did he ever come close to working as hard as my mother did every day. Living on the farm is not easy. She had a garden which was necessary for eating, we had chickens for eggs and eating. I can remember her cleaning chickens. We had a cow for milk until I was about six. There was very little money especially when crops were bad.

When she became a teacher, after coming home from a day of teaching, she either took night classes, did lesson plans for the next day or both. I often remember her being up until midnight working.

I am sure the kicker’s wife is wonderful mother, but very few women [or men for that matter] marry someone whose signing bonus was $7 million and has an annual salary over $1 million. His wife along with many of us have modern conveniences that my mother never had until the last part of her life.

To have modern conveniences in today’s world takes money. The kicker has it and his parents had it when he was growing up. His entire financial life has been much better than most people. For example, the median household in the US in 2023 was about $81,000. The kicker makes more than that in a month. Since the median income in the US for a full-time work is $60,580 even the least intelligent of us including the kicker can figure out that to be make at least the median household income in the US would take two jobs for many families.

[Note: The median income of women is about 83% of men. My mother would have understood why this is true. Fools making rules.]

Depending on where you live, to be considered middle income in the US, it takes an annual income range between $53,740 and $161,220 per year. My mom would have been lower middle class until the last few years of teaching.

I am not sure about the religion the kicker, but it is clear to me he has not studied the teachings of Jesus. Whether you take a literal or inspirational view of the Gospels, it is clear Jesus taught men and women are equal. If you want to go back further to the beginning of the OT, again whether you take a literal or inspirational view, Genesis Genesis 1:27 indicates men and women are created equally.

The kicker represents many men in the US who are sexist, uninformed about the realities of life in general and women in specific. He is a modern example of fools making rules.

Finally, let’s get two things straight.

• One, I am a huge KC Chief fan and have been for years. And any time the kicker lines up to kick a winning field goal, I will be cheering for him to succeed. But anything be says other than being a kicker, I would consider to be the ramblings of a fool who has no concept of real life, especially for women like my mom throughout our country.
• Two, my mom was far from perfect. She was very hard on her children. In my case, in all honesty, I was a very difficult child, a phase I never outgrew. I cannot remember my mom giving me a compliment until I was in my 30s which is one reason why a therapist once told me I am so F’d up. [The therapist said it much better.]

But my mom also taught me two things. You take care of your family and whatever you do, be the best you can be at it. I have had my challenges, but my mom had more and harder challenges than most us including the ongoing challenge of being a woman dealing men who are fools making rules. A challenge many women understand.

My mom would have been excited to know a thoughtful, intelligent, successful, hard working woman who came up the hard way is running for President. She would not have been surprised to know many men oppose the Presidential candidate her for just those reasons, the KC kicker likely being one of them. She also would not have been surprised to find out the Presidential candidate’s opponent is a white ignorant sexist male who inherited his money and has shown no respect for women his entire life.

My mom would have been sad to know that there are still too many men who are fools making rules.